poly_tldr | WHY HELLO AGAIN.

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WHY HELLO AGAIN.

hi there, poly, this is tussah (

courut's player). bringing you another socially maladjusted teenager ~~per by mici's request~~! this here is nigel colbie, one of the main characters from the psychological thriller (i guess?) like minds. if you haven't heard of it, i don't blame you don't worry, and if you have YOU GET A COOKIE. in a nutshell, it's sort of like a british version of murder by numbers in that it is a modern take on two teenage boys ~~rife with homosocial panic~~ who turn out to be serial killers (re: real-life serial killers leopold and loeb). only difference being that nigel is completely delusional and believes he and his murdering partner are descendants of the holy order of the knights templar.

...no. seriously.

so basically, mention destiny or knights to nigel and he may try to convince to go whack some people in order to inherit eternity. this is how nigel makes friends. he also likes chess, taxidermy, ignoring personal space and cutting of his loved ones' heads. i look forward to building lasting bonds of friendship and mayhem in the future.

so, if you'd please: friend add his_instrument or

his_instrument away. ~~and if you feel like watching an hour and a half's worth of eddie redmayne and tomstu glaring at one another, check out the movie. :P~~

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Um. Yes, well, that's very nice and it's a simply lovely offer and all but...um. I won't be a very worthy princess if you chop me up into pieces and keep me on shelves, so I think we'd better avoid that all around, don't you?

scream.

You make it sound as if I intend to hack you to bits. Just a head. And eternity. That's all I ask.

creeeeepers.

Murdering princesses for the sake of eternity is no way to get ahead in life! So I'm terribly sorry, but I'm going to have to head off your plans right there. And frankly, I think you're a bit of a headcase, which means I won't have the slightest bit of chance of making any sort of headway with you, so instead I'm going to get a head start on running away from you.

Just as a heads-up.

brb calling my posse of loyal protectors

Yes because you've shown such amazing judgment with men in the past.

You know what shut up.

oh god I just realized Nigel's a dark-haired boy from England, too, isn't he.

Why yes.

Yes he is.

LOOK WHAT YOU DID, SIRIUS BLACK.

SHE WILL NOW SPEND THE REST OF HER LIFE CHASING YOUR MEMORY.

Sob.

who plays chess and is well read and has manners when not dissecting people

Oh good god she's doomed.

And Rudy's interest is piqued at the mention of chess. How good is Nigel, in terms of chess rankings?

/straightens british school uniform tie

according to some throw away lines in the movie, nigel was the runner-up leeds chess champion. NOWHERE IN THE MOVIE DOES HE ACTUALLY EVER PLAY CHESS but i imagine the boy has to do SOMETHING when not pickling sparrows and creeping on alex.

Just so long as he doesn't speak. The accent will be her undoing.

According to Rudy's canon, he plays chess like Bobby Fischer. At, y'know. Age twelve. And he is very linefacey and apathetic and wants to take over the world someday and hates people and socializing.

I feel like this somehow may be relevant to Nigel's interests.

BETTER NOT CHECK THE NETWORK THE FIRST TIME HE POSTS THEN, ROSELLA. OR ELSE YOU GONNA HAVE SOME PROBLEMS.

WOW HE SORT OF SOUNDS LIKE NIGEL'S BEST FRIEND. though admittedly his best friend is also a complete psychopath. but a WELL SPOKEN psychopath. a pretentious, anti-social psychopath.

THIS WILL GO WELL.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN yeah she's doomed. Hopefully it's not the same day she's cursed with Fetish Folly or she's really going to be doomed.

DEAR ONE OF HER MANY ATTRACTIVE OVERPROTECTIVE MALE FRIENDS AND/OR LOVE INTEREST: PLEASE SAVE HER KTHX.

Rudy generally tends more toward the heroic sociopath type than the outright psychopath. And the pretentiousness might cause problems because he has a habit of calling things as he sees them. But yeah he may have to get in on this just saying.

i would offer mouse to protect her but all mouse is capable of doing is making nigel sort of fall in love with him AND THAT WOULD BE SUPER AWKWARD OKAY. though admittedly sort of amusing. BUT HTEN NIGEL WOULD WANT TO CUT OFF MOUSE'S HEAD and yeah.

seriously rudy's pretentiousness may actually ENDEAR nigel to him since NIGEL'S BEST FRIEND IS SORT OF AN ASSHOLE TO HIM THE ENTIRE TIME and has a very bad habit of perpetually punching nigel in the face. but yes alex thinks he's TERRIBLY clever and LOVES LETTING PEOPLE KNOW THAT egads maybe it's nigel's turn to be doomed.

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primrosella.livejournal.com - 2010-11-06 02:57 (UTC) - Expand

No. Murdering princess for the sake of eternity is precisely how to get ahead in life.

Just so you know.

oh will it be a party SHALL I MAKE TEA?

Now look Nigel let's not lose our heads here okay.

Sob Rosella's going to have to, like, go into hiding after this one. Or witness protection. Or something.

Is it poisoned tea?

he's harmless enough until he starts calling you maraclea, okay? then you need to call for an adult. alex is the one you need to be wary of AND HE'S NOT HERE ~~thank goodness~~.

EARL GREY, unless you'd rather something else

I find this doubly funny because not only is her twin brother named Alex(ander), but...y'know. I'm Alex.

Sob, Rosella's life just keeps getting worse and worse. SHE'S A FAIRY-TALE PRINCESS, NIGEL. SHE'S LIKE AN ENDANGERED SPECIES. DON'T BREAK HER.

Just water, please. Plain, ordinary, non-drugged and/or chemically altered water.

this is where i am required to tell you that WE WILL BE UNITED. no seriously this is nigel's catch phrase and he never shuts up about it and destiny.

BECAUSE SHE IS A FAIRY TALE PRINCESS IT MAKES IT EVEN BETTER. he's OBSESSED With knights and sort of honor and glory that the templars sort of represent so CLEARLY A PRINCESS IS A SIGN. THE BOY SWOONS AT THE THOUGHT OF SOVEREIGNTY OKAY.

Drugs. Please. I'm hardly a heathen.

Recipe. For. DISASTER. Because she loves talking about her kingdom. And he father the king. And justice. And honor. And being a princess. And nobility. And wearing glass slippers and riding horses and she lives with Saya and ohhhhhhhh my god she's gonna die.

This is it. This is the end. Death warrant is signed.

Also she once got a heart in a jar as a "present" so...yeah. Stuff like that? Freaks her out bad. Really bad. Super duper bad.

if it's any consolation, nigel's ONLY meant to cut the head off of his one true love. so he's gonna have to make rosella LOVE him or something (though admittedly in the movie his idea of 'true love' is like HEY ALEX YOU HAD A CONVERSATION WITH HER CLEARLY IT'S CHOPPY CHOPPY TIME) in order for it to work.

that, or he gets SUPER BORED. then he'll just play with her entrails.

OKAY NOTE TO SELF. JAR FULL OF TEETH? NOT A GOOD VALENTINE FOR PRINCESS ROSELLA. duly noted.

Oh. Well. Thank goodness, Rosella's one true love is already all sewn up (FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING AAAAAAH), so. Not today! /dodges a bullet

Although actually. If he DOES decide to creep on her, even just because she's a princess or something, that might give her an excuse to jumpstart a plot thing I've been thinking about for like...a year, so.

HMMMMMMMMMM.

NO. NO IT IS NOT. STOP THAT. BAD NIGEL, NO COOKIE.

nigel tends to creep on PEOPLE IN GENERAL if he finds them engaging (otherwise he won't bother at all, he kind of swings to extremes) but given how IT SEEMS THE PLANETS ARE IN ALIGNMENT WITH THIS ONE the likelihood QUITE HIGH that he'd try.

I AM MORE THAN WILLING TO BE YOUR PLOT JUMPSTARTY DEVICE!

but i cleaned them and everything for you :c

OH THANK GOD THE CAVALRY HAS ARRIVED

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