UUU IT'S A LOLI UUU UUU~!!

[agoodchild.livejournal.com]

OH SHIT.



BACK THE FUCK UP. IS THAT A SEACAT? UUU UUU! FUCK YEAH, IT IS.

LOOK AT THAT MOTHERFUCKING SEACAT. NO, LOOK AT IT. IT'S A SEACAT. IT'S BEATRICE. IT'S A SEACAT AND IT'S BEATRICE. AND IT'S META. IT'S ALL OF IT TOGETHER MOTHERFUCKERS. BOTH BEATRICE AND A SEACAT AND META. THREE GOOD THINGS COME TOGETHER AND MAKE SOMETHING A THOUSAND FUCKING TIMES BETTER. AND DOES IT CRY? UUU! YOU'D BETTER FUCKING BELIEVE IT DOES. UUU UUU! CRYING FUCKING SEACAT AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN IT CRIES? FUCK, WE DON'T KNOW EITHER, BUT WHEN THE SEACAT CRIES? YOU'D BETTER FUCKING BELIEVE IN THAT SHIT UUU UUU!

UUU AND IF YOU SAY IT IN RED, IT'S TEN TIMES BETTER MOTHERFUCKER. ANYTHING THAT YOU SAY IN FUCKING RED HAS GOT TO BE THE TRUTH.

1. WITCHES EXIST.

2. UMINEKO NO NAKU KORO NI IS A FUCKED UP CANON.

3. MARIA USHIROMIYA IS UP IN YOUR CITY.

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Caru here, having succumbed to the hot new fandom and the freaky loli at its center. This would be Maria Ushiromiya from the amazingly strange and twisted Umineko no Naku Koro Ni. She's coming in from the end of the second game, before her particular end with the "hitsuji shitsuji" (yeah, the canon is as special as Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni). Spoiler warning for her posts and comments, if you've not seen or played the second game. She's nine years old, acts like she's five, says "uuu uuu" a lot (it's magic, okay?), has a peculiar and (yes) abusive mother, is bffls with the witch Beatrice, and absolutely loves and adores any and all things occult and magical and witchcraft-related.

Please do welcome her~ Her entry post will be up after the curse ends tomorrow (I'd rather not hit her with a curse and I have final projects to, well, finalize)

I don't think any other characters will know her or her canon, but I would like to request no 4th Walling please! Her life is complicated and meta enough (no, seriously).

And, please, be glad I didn't go with my original idea to post this spoilerific and squicktastic macro. You may thank me later.

AND THAT'S ENOUGH TL;DR FROM ME!

♥~!!

Comments

[parashot.livejournal.com]

.......................... this is the most distressing intro post EVER.

[agoodchild.livejournal.com]

...................................it's a distressing canon, okay?

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

what is that i don't even

...no, really, i don't even



SOB I CANNOT STOP STARING AT IT

[agoodchild.livejournal.com]

Which? Which~?

IT'S ALL SO FASCINATING, ISN'T IT?

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

I keep staring at those icons and waiting for one of them to secretly be an animated gif that randomly and spontaneously JUMPS OUT AT ME when I'm least expecting it.

BUT THE HEADPLATE IS INTRIGUING, TOO. DOES IT COME WITH A SIDE DISH?

[agoodchild.livejournal.com]

Alas, no, I don't have any gif icons. I know there are some, but none of these are.

ACTUALLY, IT'S DESSERT. THERE'S A WHOLE MEAL AROUND IT. AND QUITE AN INTERESTING ONE AT THAT.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Well, that alleviates the paranoia a smidgen. But only a smidgen, I say!

WHAT IS THIS, THE DONNER PARTY DINNER PARTY?

[agoodchild.livejournal.com]

Only a smidgen.

NO, NO, IT'S THE USHIROMIYA FAMILY GATHERING.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

WELL, THAT'S ONE WAY TO MAKE HEADWAY WITH THE FAMILY, I GUESS.

[agoodchild.livejournal.com]

Uuu~ You have no idea~

[sapanwood.livejournal.com]

WHAT IS THIS

I DON'T EVEN

[agoodchild.livejournal.com]

IT'S A SEAGULL.

AND STUFF.

[innocentxcharm.livejournal.com]

Oh hey it's Maria! Delicious. ♥

[agoodchild.livejournal.com]

.........."delicious".

.............................sob |D

[innocentxcharm.livejournal.com]

Don't you think she looks delicious? Sitting all pretty on that plate.

[agoodchild.livejournal.com]

With apples and everything. Oh yes~!!

[dr_conscience]

HOLY GOD WHAT EVEN JUST HAPPENED HERE

She sounds delightfully twisted but um.

/hides

[agoodchild.livejournal.com]

IDEFK. It was midnight when I posted this and I was totally exhausted. I'm still totally exhausted. Therefore I have NFI.

[dr_conscience]

OH GOD THAT ICON IT GETS WORSE.

I kind of love it, even if I'm totally baffled. <3

[agoodchild.livejournal.com]

I'd link you to Wikipedia, but I don't know that that would help...

/links you anyway (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Umineko_no_Naku_Koro_ni)

[absinthe-eyed.livejournal.com]

I've stared long and hard at this intro post, waiting for some kind of comprehension to dawn so I can make a halfway-intelligent comment.

I don't think that'll be happening.

But woah, you have my attention.

[agoodchild.livejournal.com]

Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Umineko_no_Naku_Koro_ni) to...try and explain timeloops and witches and epitaphs and alchemists and murder and red font and seacats?

[horrible-penny.livejournal.com]

I'm only slightly less confused, but thank you. XD

[agoodchild.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's about how it works for everyone... You're sort of less confused without really understanding.

[backseatangel.livejournal.com]

Woah.

[agoodchild.livejournal.com]

I figured a very special canon deserved a very special intro post?

[backseatangel.livejournal.com]

*goes to rewatch Sweeney Todd*

[agoodchild.livejournal.com]

Mmm...pie!

[backseatangel.livejournal.com]

*om-nom-nom*

[sword-and-quill.livejournal.com]

OH SHI---

SEACATS IN POLY!

And yay for Maria! :D

[agoodchild.livejournal.com]

AND THEY CRY TOO. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE SEACATS CRY.

~!! I've never played a creepy!loli before :3 I hope I do all right with her.

[sword-and-quill.livejournal.com]

THERE ARE NO SURVIVORS.

Can't say I have, either. XD She looks right on from what I've seen of her so far, though! And really, Poly is a great place for her. Particularly since Sami said canonmates are coming.

[agoodchild.livejournal.com]

... IT'S UMINEKO NO KU KORO NI, NOT THE DREAD PIRATE ROBERTS. ...sob forever...

Whew good. Please don't hesitate to drop me a line if something about her seems odd. With a fandom as crazy and as good and as popular as Umineko is right now, I want to do her justice :3