poly_tldr | (no subject)

OH SNAP

Sup guys

My name is Caleb and I'm bringing with me someone absolutely awesome. An alien.

No really, his name is Shas'la T'au Kais but he's probably prefer it if you called him 'la Kais or just Kais because you silly humans wouldn't be able to translate the real meaning behind his name. He's from the Warhammer 40k universe (SUPER GRIMDARK) and more specifically from the PS2 game and novel Firewarrior. Protip: the game is awful don't exert yourself playing it but the book is pretty good!

Since you guys probably know JACK about WH40k and the Tau themselves, let me help.

-> Tau are blue aliens who devote their lives to the "Greater Good", a philosophy that advocates the needs of the whole over the needs of the individual.
-> If you completely oppose the Greater Good, you might find yourself being re-educated 1984 style.
-> All Tau speak 'human' with a Japanese accent.
-> The Tau have technology coming out of their ass.
-> This is why the fandom calls them Weeaboo Space Communists.
-> Kais has trouble believing in the Greater Good and it causes him much trauma!
-> Also daddy issues everywhere.
-> All this has made him into some kind of killing machine where he kills because he wants to belong and when he doesn't belong, he kills more. Vicious cycle.

IT'S OKAY THOUGH. He only kills his enemies. Though humans...are usually his enemy because they are super xenophobic in Warhammer 40k. It'll be a culture shock to find humans not wanting to kill him, trust me. Everyone else gets a blank slate because that's how the Tau roll.

ANY QUESTIONS?

Oh yeah. friend add greatergone or do that silly hover-click trick.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

/PUNCHES

sup caleb

oh hay sup kat

im just chilling

chilling's cool. nice to have you back again

It feels like a homecoming.

so much sadness.

I hear they're having cake this time around

cool story bro

/SITS ON

/KEEPS YOU HERE FOR THE CAKE

/defenestrates and chills in my alien corner

DAMNIT, CALEB

IT HAD TO HAPPEN

WE HAD TO DO THIS BRO

SPACE TALK, I HOPE HE'S READY FOR IT

Enjoy being treated like....you're dumb or something. because all humans are dumb clearly

OH MAN OH MAN

IS THIS ANOTHER CALEB-PUNCHING THREAD?

EVERY THREAD IS A CALEB-PUNCHING THREAD

I just needed to break this post in is all

OH GOOD.

I HAVE THE PERFECT ICON.

/ RODE IN ON THAT MOFO TO BID YOU WELCOME :( b

/accepts all the love that evil unicorns can give

Hey, man, it doesn't get possessed for just about everyone.

What is that sentence even supposed to mean

come on.

THE HORSE

ONLY BECAME EVIL

TO GREET YOU

GOD, WHY IS MY INSANITY SO DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO GRASP X(

OH

I thought so.

Yep.

I HAVE A QUESTION.

... oh no, wait, I don't, I just needed the distraction to staple you to the game.

Anyway--I'm Thorn, I think we've existed in the same universe at some point, you may or may not recall it. Welcome back!

NO I DON'T KNOW YOU AT ALL THORN

NOPE

... goddammit, did we get an AU Caleb. GET YE BACK TO YOUR OTHER UNIVERSE.

Once you go AU you can't go....

....Day Woo?

CALEEEEEB, CALEB CALEB CALEB-

Wait. When you say technology coming out of their ass . . . :/

Do you really wanna know?

. . . No, sir.

Ahhh, Caleb, are you back to stay? Or are you just going to leave us again. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS LEAVE US?! IS IT ME? Because I can change!

You don't know that I haunt you all the time?

Well, duh. But not out in the open where we can see it.

OH LOOK IT'S CALEB.

Welcome back ^^

oh hey

/preemptive punch

This place really is like a black hole that sucks back in past players. Sup, ya.

Sure does seem that way, doesn't it?

NOT MUCH SUP

HI :D

Are clones of humans exempt from the bastard rule? THIS ONE WILL THINK HE'S SO COOL SERIOUSLY *_*

YO

and sob Luke why are you so precious

I have no idea who you are. I'm Saffy. /waves

He's cute like a puppy running into a glass door.

YOU'LL SOON KNOW, I'M SURE. /waves

gets his tongue stuck to metal poles, etc?

|D I hope so!

Pretty much.

Yay, another alien!

/extraterrestrial life brofist